It’s Okay To Cry
Prior to my long run today: I was sick a week ago and still am battling this cough, got my period, peed my pants on Monday (like literally peed my pants. Not just a tinkle…yes, in public.). so yeah. that’s been my life lately…
So my long run this morning went down like this:
Spends an hour waking up, getting dressed, layering up some more because I’m a cold weather weenie and I totally acknowledge this.
Drives to favorite running spot. Aka: Franklin Park. Because there’s a porta john there. Always have to stinkin’ pee. And this morning was a little more challenging….
Runs three miles….needs to revisit mr. porta john…
Legs already feel absolutely trashed..
Miles 1-2: “Okay, Jess. Legs are already tired but goal pace is only 8:07 for 17 miles. You’ve run that faster and farther before. No problem.”
Miles 2-4: “crap. I have to crap already.” runs back to porta john
Miles 4-7: “Okay, Jess. Legs are really hurting now…stupid deadlifts all week…(what doesn’t kill you makes you
Miles 8-10: “okay…jess….pace is falling way behind… let’s just shoot for 8:30 minute miles at least…let’s down this Glukos and maybe my energy stores will perk back up.”
Mile 10: wimpers to self “Nope. No energy stores. Nada. Legs are just done. I’m just so done. stops for a moment and considers walking the rest of the way home I’m so……so, so,so far away from my car.”
Miles 11-13: “okay new goal: just make it back to the car. don’t die. just keep going…” shuffles feet. stops for a moment..
Miles 13-13.75: “THANK YOU SWEET SWEET JESUS I’M ALMOST TO MY CAR.”
Mile: 13.75: walking and shuffling and sobbing ” I can’t run when I cry…”
Have you ever had one of those runs were at the end of it you bawled like a little baby? Like stupid sobbed?
Maybe you haven’t. Maybe I’m just a running in pink big cry baby weirdo. At any rate, today on this beautiful crisp morning that was me. I don’t know if it’s because I have so much on my mind, or if it’s that my body felt like a piece of lead, or if it’s because I was extremely dehydrated to begin with (like, my urine was a lovely shade of almost brown-yellow. TMI. #sorrynotsorry I’m just keepin’ it real.), or undernourished…but everything about this this morning’s run was pure torture for my mind and body. And I freaking love running! What went wrong?
Here’s the deal…
- I started my run dehydrated. Did you know that being seriously dehydrated can also affect your GI system in a major way? Totally had tummy troubles…
- I was starving last night before dinner. Like starving. I’ve been increasing the miles slowly, increasing my strength workouts (particularly with clients. I’m going to have to learn to only work out with a client two to three times weekly and no more. My body realistically can not handle 3-4 workouts a day for 5 days and running all the miles I wish to. #balance
- My legs felt like lead. Never in my liiiiiiife have they hurt so bad. Refer to above bullet point.
- I’m following Run Less, Run Faster program but I seem to be having a problem with the ‘run less’ portion. ha. Imagine that.
I’m so wrapped up in telling everybody else to drink two liters of water a day. Like, I’m your personal hydration hustler. But, I myself have forgotten to do this for my own body. How is that? I am at the house more, so access to water is not an issue. Access to food is not an issue. I spend so much of my time encouraging people in their healthy habits that I myself have forgotten to practice what I preach.
This got me to thinking…sometimes that’s the way we are with Christianity. We read the Bible, pray for an extended period of time, fill up on all kinds of super great habits…and then, when we feel like we’ve figured it all out we can get lazy. We become great at preaching but not at practicing. It’s a slippery slope down the proverbial rabbit hole. Anytime our spiritual health is off-center I feel like the physical health soon follows suit. I don’t know if any of this makes any sense to anyone else out there in the great interwebs of life but it feels good to at least get it out there. To get it off my chest so that you guys understand that I, too, struggle sometimes with making right choices, remembering to take care of my body, practice what I preach, to spend more time in the Word and in prayer, to not overextend myself, to not set my expectations stupid high and face the feeling of failure…
Y’all…life is one big messy mosaic. And you’re all that glitters and shines within it. Occasionally that sparkle needs to take a little break for some r & r and deep introspective recharging so it can come back sparkling even brighter.
And you should know that it is indeed okay to cry. It reminds us that we are so very human in nature. After a good cry and journal session it’s time to wipe those tears away and get yourself set up for a comeback. Figure out what went wrong, how to tweak your current situation and just keep running. I am most definitely in the learning curve process with this training business…
Week 4 marathon training I’m coming for you…
have you ever cried after a run or workout?
“Breakthroughs can seem like dramatic moments but are often supported by a few years of uninterrupted work and gradual progress just waiting for the right moment to solidify.” ~ Molly Huddle, U.S. Champion Long-Distance Runner and American Record Holder
28 Jan 2017 / runpinkjess / 2
The words “I am” are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. – A. L. Kitselman
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