Let’s Chat…Feeling Lame.
Thinking out loud…I’m sitting at my computer trying to dig deep and find that missing motivation to finish up plans. Thinking about going for a run. Thinking I really need to lift some weights. These arms and thighs have really gotten soft… Thinking about crying because all I want to do is eat and sleep. And how much weight I’ve gained this past month. I was slow and steady to begin with and now it’s just like BOOM. (yes. I realize I’m pregnant. I know God designed our bodies to work this way. I know some women would LOVE to be in my shoes and may not be able to conceive. I know that some extra fat is beneficial for baby. Doesn’t mean as a female I don’t struggle with the weight gain and self-image at times. Don’t judge. Don’t condemn me. Don’t correct me. Just listen.)
I miss training.
I miss running hard.
I miss ‘feeling’ motivated.
I miss being able to push myself.
I miss the desire to push myself.
Motivational quotes aren’t working, crazy good music isn’t pumping me up, writing blog posts seem to help for a minute…nothing.is.working.
You know, I’m always telling my clients, ‘you won’t always feel motivated. In fact, you may feel not motivated more often than you do feel motivated. So it’s important to work through it feelings aside because you know it’s good for you.’
Now the shoe is on the other foot.
The crappy thing is that motivation for me was almost always ‘on’ after my first 5k. So being on the other end of the spectrum is quite humbling. I took a quick poll on my private ladies Facebook group (#teambeautifullyfit woot!) about motivation and it seems most want it, start out with it, then fall off the wagon. The follow-through seems to be the biggest challenge. And now more than ever I get it. Training for marathons has always been more than enough to keep me fit and focused. But, to simply ‘workout’ to ‘keep fit’ now seems all too challenging. While I know it’s not pointless I can’t help but feel like it is.
My heart rate now spikes much quicker.
My energy levels are not what they used to be. (adding iron has helped a ton but not helping the midnight, 2 am and 4 am pee runs…)
I experience all kinds of fun pregnancy woes (hello heartburn, tight calf muscles, peeing nonstop, round ligament pain…to name a few.).
My desire to SIT is at an all-time high… most days I literally have to FORCE myself to go out for a walk. Maybe do two reps of an exercise. Then, I browse IG and see pregnant women doing freaking headstands and backbends and burpees…(ps-comparison is the thief of joy. sometimes you must walk away from IG.)
How many women on a regular basis feel this way?
Which brings me to my positive point (I was getting there!). If you follow me on Instagram then you already know that something magical happened yesterday:
The kid asked me to take him out for a run. The kid who hates running. I believe since he took up soccer seriously this past season he’s turned into quite the athlete. He began liking the hard stuff. Push-ups, squats, crunches, competition….running?!?! Since I’m a marathoner and personal trainer you would think this would come naturally to my kid from me. Nope. Nope.
It came from a hard season of soccer with friends and a coach. Maybe some of it stems from his new maturity, seeing me work hard over the years, middle school and wanting to impress the ladies. Who knows truly. All I know is when he asked me to go for a run that was the last thing I wanted to do. I did not want to run. I did not want to walk.No, I’m not running a fever. I’m just 7.5 months pregnant and beginning to feel every freaking bit of it.
No, I’m not running a fever. I’m just 7.5 months pregnant and beginning to feel every freaking bit of it. Some women may have zero issues at this point while pregnant but for me, I am honestly struggling 100%. And it is beyond humbling for me to sit here and type it all out. In fact, I’m literally crying as I type this all out.
But, I think it’s important that you read this. Hear it directly from me that I totally get it. I get not wanting to do a darn thing.
I feel like a whale. A cellulited, beached whale. With puffy legs, black puffy eyes, and heartburn.
Yes, a whale with cellulite legs and heartburn because whales can have that.
I digress, back to the moral of the story. My kid who hates running got this mom out for a run yesterday who is struggling to run. And it was beautiful. Was it perfect? Was it fast? No. Was it awesome? Was it much-needed? YES.
Was I grateful? 100% YES.
Pregnancy is only a season. Albeit a longer season than I’d like but just a season nonetheless. I am both entirely grateful and frustrated with the lessons it has brought into light for me. I feel as though I can better connect with my clients because I truly understand the lack of motivation thing now. I knew this feeling 13 years ago but it has resurfaced in a whole new dimension. It’s taught me to rely on my God more. It’s taught me how to step back. It’s taught me a deeper compassion.
The takeaway here is this, my friends:
When we feel ‘soft’, sloppy, out of shape, lame, we may be tempted to think then, ‘why even bother?’. Once we get into that thought pattern we don’t even try to move then feel even lamer and the cycle just loops over and over again.
But, if you’ll allow something magical to happen, go for a run, walk or lift a few weights even if it’s only for like 5 minutes that MOTIVATED lightbulb turns on. FEED THAT CYCLE.
STOP FEEDING THE LAME CYCLE. If for no other reason you know you simply MUST press on. And so feeling fat and lame I march on. Because this season will leave as soon as it came. I’ll look back and think to myself, ‘why was I even so bothered?’
You’ll want to come back for tomorrow’s Friday Five because it’s all about how to find that motivation! I’ve compiled a few solutions! Typing it all up earlier this week also helped get my rear back in gear. Maybe it’ll help you too.
PS-knowing each mile I run, each meal I log, each night of sleep my Garmin tracks goes straight into Achievement to earn extra cash has helped me stay on track somewhat as well… hey. Sometimes it is about the money when you’re looking at new running shoes. 😉 Check it out here!!
have you ever felt ‘lame’? or unmotivated? maybe you’re in a funk now?
My strength will come back…
“But those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength…” Isaiah 40:31
Linking up with Amanda from Running With Spoons so I can simply Think Out Loud today…sometimes the heart just needs to write and think.
19 Oct 2017 / runpinkjess / 0
The words “I am” are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. – A. L. Kitselman
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